


Dating the Homecoming Queen

by Azure_K_Mello



Series: After the War [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: But not OOC, Dancing, F/M, Homecoming, I Don't Know Either, Peter Parker is a Good Bro, Precious Peter Parker, Somehow Taylor Swift got in here, Suave Peter Parker, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, Vulture - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-16 04:31:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13046538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azure_K_Mello/pseuds/Azure_K_Mello
Summary: A look at the homecoming dance if Peter had already quit being Spider-Man and never met the Vulture to begin with.





	Dating the Homecoming Queen

Time moved on. Nova was awesome. He not only arrested bad guys but he was also good at filling Spider-Man’s community service niche. He bought new ice creams for kids who dropped theirs. He attended local charity events. He stopped bicycle thefts. Peter relaxed because his borough was in good hands. His Academic Decathlon team won Nationals and got a huge trophy that Flash carried around despite being the alternate. Peter really thought Liz should have been carrying it but didn’t argue because he didn’t want to get beaten up. 

Everything was fine until homecoming. When her dad opened the door Peter felt like he was falling. Liz didn’t have the same last name as her dad. Her dad was Adrian Toomes. Peter forced himself to relax and told himself that the man had no idea who he was. A voice in his head, which sounded like Tony, said, “Force yourself to be cool.”

He put on a bright smile and said, “Hi, Mr. Allan, I’m Peter: Liz’s date.”

The man looked him up and down and said, “How old are you?”

“Fifteen,” he answered, pleased with an easy question.

“My daughter is eighteen. Nothing you do would be covered by Romeo and Juliette Laws.”

Peter flushed and said, “Sir, I’ve never even held a girl’s hand. I’ve never been on a date. I was really, really shocked Liz said yes to the dance. She’s a senior and I’m a freshman. She’s really smart and nice and pretty. I’m not sure why she said yes. We’re friends from Decathlon but… it will be really awesome if Liz holds my hand.” 

It was weird and disconcerting to be talking to the man, hearing his voice and knowing exactly who he was. He was dressed like a dad, smiling like a dad, but he was the Vulture. 

The man seemed to relax and said, “Y’want a drink to steady the nerves?”

“I’m fifteen.”

“Good answer.” 

Liz came down and looked amazing in pink. It put a whole different nervousness in him. Though he’d never actually tangled with the Vulture, he knew his stats. But, he had no idea what to do around a girl. This was a new, unknown problem. He held out the corsage and said, “I hope you like it.”

“You got me a corsage for homecoming?” she smiled. “You know it’s not prom, right? I thought you asked about my dress you were going to match your tie or something.”

“My tie is black,” he said awkwardly. 

She smiled again, “I am going to be the only girl at homecoming with a corsage.”

“You don’t have to wear it or anything — if you don’t want,” said Peter, making an excuse.

“Are you kidding me? I’m showing it off. Here,” she held out her wrist. “Help me.” He carefully slid it onto her wrist. “Thank you, Peter.”

“You look really pretty,” he said it without stuttering, which he considered a win.

“Thanks, you look pretty good yourself.” 

Her mom took some pictures and Peter was put his arm around Liz’s waist, telling himself everything was fine, telling himself it was first date jitters. Liz posed in one photo pointing at the corsage. That made Peter laugh and her mom said, “I caught you laughing, Peter, that is a great picture.”

“Mom, that’s enough photos,” said Liz. “We should go.”

“Mrs. Allan, would you mind sending me the pictures, please? My aunt would really like them.”

“See, honey? Some people don’t think it’s lame. Peter, do you use your school email address?” He confirmed that and she promised to send them once they were gone.

“I refilled my MetroCard, so you don’t need yours,” said Peter. “The subway is two blocks that way,” he pointed, “right?” 

“I’ll drive you,” said the Vulture. 

“You don’t have to, Mr. Allan,” said Peter.

“Nah, I’m headed out of town and it’s on my way.”

“Well, thank you.” 

Despite being irritated by her mom taking photos, he and Liz started taking pictures in the back seat of the car and she said, “Peter, get cute.” He put an arm around her shoulder and smiled as she centered the corsage. “Perfect,” she said after taking the shot.

She was typing into Instagram and Peter said, “Return the favor?”

“Of course,” she said and put her head on his shoulder, smiling at his phone. “Cute,” she said, seeing the result. 

They both typed, Peter finishing first. He captioned the photo. “This is less a cute photo and more proof for myself in the morning that I legit went to #MidtownS&T #Homecoming with @liz.allan.2000.”

Her phone dinged and she chuckled. Then Peter’s phone dinged and he saw two photos side-by-side. On one side it was him and Liz holding the National trophy. The other was the photo she had just taken. The caption read, “A man who cinches National Academic Decathlon by getting a perfect score on the written and providing 22 of the needed 50 correct answers in the verbal all by himself or a man who buys you a corsage for a semi-formal dance? Get you a man who can do both. @Mr.P.B.Parker. #Homecoming #MidtownS&T”

Peter laughed and the Vulture said, “What are you two doing back there?” It was a sobering reminder of where Peter was. It was like there was a rabid dog in the car with them: muzzled but waiting. Adrenalin spiked through him, hearing the man’s voice.

“Instagram,” said Liz. 

“Pete, are you one of these social media kids?” he asked.

“Peter has twenty-five thousand followers on YouTube. He makes these really great sped up videos of his and his best friend building the most amazing LEGO sculptures. They must take weeks and weeks. And then they stand on top of a bunk bed and drop it in slow-mo. They’re so much fun.”

“You watch my videos?” asked Peter, shocked.

“Of course,” said Liz. 

“You break big sculptures?” asked the Vulture.

“Not permanently,” said Peter. “It’s fun because when you get a giant LEGO set it will be split into all different numbered bags with different numbered instruction books. And it takes a couple of weeks to build it. Once it’s all broken and out of order, then it’s a really fun 3-D puzzle.”

“They’re really fun to watch,” said Liz.

“I really like yours too,” said Peter.

“My makeup tutorials? You know about them?” she asked. 

“Of course, you have over twenty thousand followers. And they’re really fun. I’m not into the makeup but your friend Seymour’s angry rants about eyeliner wings are hilarious.” 

“So you two are both sorta famous on the internet?” he asked. 

“Great idea, Dad. Brainwave. Peter, do the thumbs up model face you do in your YouTube icon.”

“It’s not model face,” protested Peter. 

“It’s model face,” Liz said. She tilted her head just right and put on the half pout, half smile she had in her YouTube icon and she took a picture. They both looked exactly like their avatar photos. She typed fast and then the alert popped up on his phone. The post was linked to both their YouTube pages and said, “I believe this is called a power couple. #OneNightAtHomecoming #IFeelLikeAPromPrincessWithThisCorsage.” 

Laughing he said, “I’m really glad you like the corsage.”

She squeezed his hand. “I love it. My prom date last year didn’t even get me a corsage.”

“You’re not a jackwagon, Pete, most of the boys she dates are jackwagons,” said the Vulture.

“Dad,” Liz protested. 

“I’m just saying. Pete, what are you doing after school? All you kids at that school know.”

“Peter’s a freshman, Dad. But he is the youngest person with a September Foundation grant.”

“That’s that thing Tony Stark set up?” asked the Vulture.

“Yeah,” said Peter, “I’m doing work on polymer bonds… I like chemical engineering.”

“Do you hang out with Mr. Stark?” asked Vulture and Peter felt his throat tighten. 

“Peter is Tony Stark’s personal intern on top of the grant,” said Liz.

“Wow, that’s some accomplishment,” said the Vulture. 

“My aunt and best friend are way more proud of that than I am,” admitted Peter.

“It’s true, I heard about the September grant from Ned, not Peter. Peter doesn’t brag about anything.” Peter just laughed.

“What’s the plan to get home tonight?” asked the Vulture. “I don’t want you taking the subway this late at night.”

“My aunt said she would pick us up,” said Peter. “I don’t know what Liz’s curfew is. Aunt May said that I’m okay to stay out as long as she knows where I am and text her half an hour before we want to get picked up.”

“Eleven-thirty at the King’s Diner on Seventh Ave. and Thirty-seventh Street if she’s okay with that. We can leave earlier if she wants,” said Liz. “Although you might hate that. We go after the dance, talk about whose dresses we liked, whose dressed we hated, who cried in the bathroom, who was totally justified in crying. You might hate it.”

“I don’t mind,” promised Peter. “I’ll text May now.” He did and she sent him a thumb’s up emoji. She normally wouldn’t be okay with picking him up from Manhattan that late that but it was his first date. “May is cool with it.” He forwarded her the photos Mrs. Allan had taken.

They pulled up to the school and the Vulture said, “Liz, honey, you go inside, I wanna have a chat with Peter.”

“Dad, it’s his first date: go light.” She slid out of the car. 

Peter swallowed hard. “You’re not a jackwagon,” said the Vulture.

“Thank you, sir.”

“You show my daughter a good time. But not too good.”

Peter thought about it, thought about what he would say to any other girl’s dad. He pretended that Liz’s dad wasn’t the Vulture. “Liz makes good decisions, sir. We’re in this time where boys are told that boys will be boys and girls are told to not be victims. It should be that boys are told not to victimize and girls are told to make good choices. I promise: Liz makes good choices and I am not a victimizer.” 

“Okay. Go do the Cha Cha Slide. And take lots of pictures.” 

“Will do, have a good trip. It was really nice to meet you, Mr. Allan.”

“You too, Pete.” 

Peter slid quickly out of the car and texted Tony as he walked up the stairs. “I went to meet Liz for homecoming. Her dad is the Vulture. The Vulture drove us to the dance.”

“Liz said yes to homecoming?!?!”

“No the point, Tony!!! And, yes, she looks even more beautiful than usual. Still not the point!!! G2g dance.”

He walked into the gym and saw Liz with her friends. He smiled as he walked over. “Did he scare you?” she asked. 

“He scared me at your house when he said that Romeo and Juliet laws won’t protect you if we had sex. The car was lighter.”

Seymour laughed, “Straight people.”

“You’ll meet a great guy and his dad will give you a shovel speech,” said Liz.

“It’ll be my mom giving him the speech,” said Seymour.

“Does anyone want a drink: Liz’s dad made my mouth go dry,” Peter admitted. 

“I want punch before someone spikes it,” said Liz.

“Do people really do that?” asked Peter.

“You’re going to enjoy your first high school dance,” said Seymour.

“The teachers will swap out the punch, like, four times,” said Liz, “but a lot of people are going to get drunk before that happens.” 

She took him by the hand and started to pull him away but he heard one girl say, “He’s kinda cute.” 

Seymour responded, “He’s always been kinda cute.”

Peter let Liz lead him to the punch table. “Don’t worry about my dad and my friends are nice so exhale. They want to like you. I only hang out with nice people. I know they’re seniors but they’re nice. But, where’s Ned? He doesn’t have a date, right? He should come hang out with us.” 

Peter looked around and said, “I see a hat.” 

Liz turned and called, “Ned, Hey, Ned.” He didn’t turn and she called, “You in the handsome hat.” He turned and Peter and Liz waved. Ned came over with a grin. “Another great hat. Grab some punch before it gets liquored up. You will get some alcohol later but it’s good to have a layer down before that happens.” She poured them glasses and said, “Come meet my friends. Madison doesn’t have a date. Can you slow dance?” 

“I’ve watched a lot of old movies, I can waltz and foxtrot.”

“You’re perfect. Come with us. Just FYI: I’m pimping you out.”

He grinned, “Awesome.”

She led the way and introduced them saying, “Peter and Ned, Melisa, Seymour, Madison, Ella, Betty and Alfie. Most of the dates have wandered off. Madison, Ned can foxtrot and waltz. Ned, Madison has taken ballroom dancing since she was six.” The music changed to something slow. And Ned held out a hand to Madison. 

Peter smiled at Liz said, “Aunt May taught me how to dance but I don’t know if it’s a waltz or what.”

“Show me,” said Liz. He led her to the dance floor and gently tugged her into his arms. “So far, so good.” They started to dance and she said, “I should send Aunt May a thank you card.”

“Why did you say yes?”

“Because you’re nice and I like you. You’re fun and you’re cute and you’re not trying to get into my pants in the next five minutes.”

They spent the night dancing and laughing. People were updating social media and he saw that there was a Vine of Liz and him dancing. Peter had a few drinks that were more whiskey than Coke and two that were more vodka than Sprite but it was fun. Her friends really were nice. Liz won homecoming queen and the captain of the basketball team was king. They started dancing and after a minute Seymour leaned in and whispered, “Cut in.”

“Isn’t that rude?”

“She’s your date, Peter, go cut in.”

Peter went and tapped the quarterback on the shoulder. The guy offered Liz’s hand to him and Peter whispered into her ear, “Congratulations, Liz.”

Michelle came over and danced with them, having fun for a while before disappearing. At ten, Ned said, “I gotta go. My dad is outside. Thank you, Madison.”

“No, thank you: it’s nice to meet someone who actually knows a box step.”

The lights came on and Seymour said, “Okay, King’s Diner. Oh, wait, Peter, is that cool or is your mom waiting?”

“No, my aunt is picking Liz and me up from the diner,” said Peter.

“Is she, like, the cool aunt who runs go-between for you and your ‘rents?” asked Seymour.

“My parents were killed when I was little,” said Peter, feeling awkward in the spotlight.

“You have that awesome uncle,” said Ella. She had been at middle school with Peter. “He was always so interested in everyone’s projects at the science fair. How is he?”

“Um,” Peter thought. Lying wasn’t his style so he said, “He died ten months ago. He tried to stop a bodega robbery. He was awesome right up to the end. It’s just me and May now. And she is picking us up at eleven thirty so we better get a move on if you’re going to do a full debrief of the night.” He offered an arm to Liz and she took it with a smile.

Moving close as they exited she whispered, “You’re amazing, Peter Parker and I’m so glad I’m on your arm tonight.” She kissed his cheek. Peter hoped the darkness of night covered his blush. 

They walked over to King’s Diner, Liz took her arm from his and slid her arm around his waist he put his arm around her shoulder and said, “This has been the best first dance ever.”

“I love him,” said Seymour. “Can we keep him?”

“Well, he has to call me tomorrow and ask me to go on Skype,” said Liz. “Then he’s a keeper.”

Peter laughed, “Okay.”

Then sat down and started eating disco fries and talking about what people were wearing and makeup. It made Peter uncomfortable and eventually, he said, “But, everyone looked exactly like they wanted to look. Isn’t there some merit in that? They all looked exactly the way they meant to when they looked in the mirror before leaving home. Doesn’t that count?”

“Oh, honey,” said Seymour. “Yes it does, totally. And you score one hundred for kind and innocent. But, like, also, Addison Sinclair’s wing eyeliner was hideous.” Peter looked at Liz and they started to laugh. “What? I’m right,” said Seymour, which made them laugh more. “What?”

“Peter said he likes our makeup tutorials for your outrage over eyeliner,” explained Liz. 

Seymour looked at Peter and spoke in a gentle, condescending tone, as he said, “No, bitch, let me explain you a thing,” he held out his hands to Peter and Peter took them, looking Seymour in the eye, “eyeliner is not that fucking hard. We’re not talking about, like, that work you’re doing with your September Foundation grant.” It shocked Peter that Seymour knew about that. Sure, it had been announced during morning announcements but he didn’t think anyone paid attention to those. “We’re talking about black wax. You could have done a better job just watching one of our tutorials. Like, Addison put raw meat on a plate and called it cooked. And I am not an asshole for calling her on that.”

“I’m not calling you an asshole,” Peter promised. “I’m just saying, why not focus on the positive? Leah looked like Marilyn Monroe. You haven’t talked about her.”

“Was that the blonde girl in the white dress? She looked amazeballs and iconic. Do you know her?”

“She’s in my Spanish class,” said Peter.

“Is that beauty mark real?” asked Liz.

“No, that was eyeliner,” said Peter.

“Amazing eyeliner,” said Seymour. “Talking of YouTube, Peter, I did not expect that Starship Enterprise to explode like that.”

Peter laughed, “Neither did we.”

“Do you, like, rebuild them? Because that seems like a really expensive investment for a funny video.”

“We totally rebuild them. The Enterprise and the Millennium Falcon are in my room right now. The others are all Ned’s. He spends way more money on LEGO than me. The majority of my money goes on skateboarding stuff and first aid supplies because of the skateboarding.” 

People laughed and Peter braced himself to be made fun of for owning any LEGO at all but Seymour said, “That’s totally awesome. I don’t have the patience for building those big LEGO things. They’re so complicated.”

“Yeah, people say if you like LEGO as a kid you will like the giant kits but I don’t think that’s true. It’s if you like puzzles and crafts,” said Peter. 

Phones started beeping with an alert and Peter looked at his. Seeing it he felt awful, a sense of doom overwhelming him. His hand closed over Liz’s before she could pick up her phone and he said, “Take a deep breath and remember that you are surrounded by your friends.” 

“Ohmigod,” said Madison and Peter shot her a dirty look. 

“Before you look at it, know that I am going to call us a really fast ride home,” he promised. She looked at her phone and all the color drained from her face. “It’s bound to be hyperbole right now. But how much do you hate superheroes in this moment? I can get us a really fast ride back to your house.”

“My dad is not the Vulture,” she said in a horrified whisper. 

“This is just reactionary junk,” said Peter. “The Bugle is trash. We won’t know anything about what the law even says until a couple of days from now.”

“Get us a really fast ride; I don’t want my mom alone.”

“Okay,” agreed Peter. 

He hit speed dial two and Tony picked up saying, “That really pumps the breaks, huh?”

“Tony, can you come pick me and my date up? She’s having a rough night, please?” 

“Where are you?” Peter rattled off the address. “See you in five.”

Peter hung up and texted May. “Watch the news; Liz’s dad was arrested. Tony is picking us up because he’s close.” May sent back a heart emoji. 

Peter said, “Tony will be here in five.” He rubbed her back, gently. 

“Dad’s not a supervillain,” she said. Peter just kept rubbing her back. He glanced at the menu and handed Seymour seventeen dollars to cover their portion of the bill plus tax and tip.

Then Tony came in and looked at them, “The beautiful Miss Allan and Peter, you’re carriage awaits. Miss Allan, did you win homecoming queen?” Liz reached up to touch her crown and Tony said, “Don’t take it off: you really do look like a queen.” Then he looked at the table, “Hi, kids. Hope it was a fun night. Peter, Miss Allan, I’m double parked. Did you pay your bill?”

“Um,” Liz reached for her purse. 

“I settled up with Seymour; we’re good,” promised Peter. He gently moved her out of the booth. 

“Thanks, Peter,” she said. 

“No problem,” he said to her. Then to the table, he said, “It was really great hanging out with you, guys.”

“Bye, Liz. Bye, Peter,” the table called after them. 

The Maybach Landaulet was, indeed, double parked. Peter opened one door for Liz and waited until she was inside and had sorted out her skirt before shutting her door and zipping around to the other side. As Tony pulled away Peter said, “Thank you, Tony.”

“Pete, you know you don’t have to say thank you. Miss Allan, I’m so sorry. But you do look really beautiful in your tiara.” 

Liz laughed, a half sob, “My dad didn’t do anything.”

“He hasn’t been charged yet; he’s in holding,” Tony said. “Instead of focusing on that, focus on the fact that you and your mom are going to need to lean on each other. Don’t freak out when she cries and don’t listen to anyone if they say you need to be strong for her. You need to support each other but you shouldn’t hide anything or try to push it down. You live in the suburbs?”

“Jamaica Estates,” said Liz. 

“I’ll start heading that way then.” Tony sped off with ease. 

“Thank you, Mr. Stark.”

“Nah, I’m just Tony. And you don’t have to say thank you. Peter’s a friend; you’re his friend. This is what friends do.” He had them to Liz’s front door in twenty-two minutes. The ride was mostly silent, Peter held her hand the whole time.

As they parked at the curb Peter said, “Can you give up a couple of minutes?”

“I can give you an hour. Take your time.” 

Peter opened his door and went to open Liz’s. He opened her door and offered her his hand, “Thanks, Tony,” she said.

“If there is anything I can do, don’t hesitate to ask. Pete can give you my number.”

She nodded before taking Peter’s hand and stepping out of the car. She slid her hand more firmly into his as they went down the front walkway. Liz stopped in her tracks and Peter looked at her, confused. “When we reach that door, it’s over. This fun night… being homecoming queen… it’s all over and my life as the kid of an accused killer starts. Out here… I know my mom is probably crying in there, I know she’s scared. It’s selfish. But, once I step inside, that’s my life changes and I don’t want to step inside, Peter.”

“So stay here with me and just breathe for a minute. Just pretend for a sec, you look so pretty in your tiara.” Looking down he said, “Look at the ground, you’re making everything sparkle.” She looked down and the patches of reflected light all moved with her head. 

“I just wish we were still at the dance.”

“We can be at the dance,” he put his hand on her waist and raised their joined hands. She smiled as he put her hand on his shoulder. 

“We don’t have music.”

“Well, we don’t have good music,” he corrected her and then started singing even though he couldn’t really sing but he was only aiming for a laugh. “Nice to meet you, where you been? I could show you incredible things.” She started laughing and dancing as he sang, slower than the song really was to allow them to dance to it. “Magic, madness, heaven, sin. Saw you there and I thought, ‘Oh my God, look at that face you look like my next mistake. Love's a game, want to play?’” She joined in singing as they danced. He twirled her out and gently pulled her back. 

They sang and slow danced all the way to the end and she said, “I should go in.”

“Y’know, after Ben got shot I dealt with a lot of stuff by myself cause I didn’t want to burden Aunt May. I had a lot of nightmares. I started talking to Tony about it. He brought me to a shrink… talking helps a lot. Your mom isn’t going to view it as a burden; you should talk to her. But, whenever you want to talk, I’m here too. I’m a phone call away and you would be shocked how fast I can skate over here.”

“I didn’t know about your family, Peter, I’m really sorry about you losing all those people.”

He smiled, “I’d say it’s okay, but it isn’t. It’s not okay. But, it is what it is. You can’t just stop. You have to go on. And you’ll get through this. It’s gonna suck, it is. It’s gonna massively suck. But you’re gonna go to class, and the yearbook meetings, and the semi-formal planning meetings and the Decathlon meetings and you’re gonna get through it. People will whisper and you will hold your head high. And occasionally, you’re going to find a corner to give yourself a minute to cry and just breathe. And if you want to text me, I’ll come to that corner, or your friends will, or we’ll leave you alone if you need that. You are going to get through this and you won’t be alone.”

She hugged him and he wrapped his arms around her. “Thank you, Peter.” Pulling back she kissed him very gently and she said, “No one ever got me a corsage before. I had a really great night before we heard.”

“Me too,” he said. “I still can’t believe you said yes.”

“You don’t know how awesome you are, Peter, you’re a catch.” He just laughed, “No, I’m serious. Thank you for tonight, even the end of it, you got a super-fast ride and danced in my front yard.”

“I would dance with you every minute of this night,” he said honestly. 

And she said, “You are so much smoother than you realize.” She sighed, “Okay, I’m going in,” but she didn’t move and still had her arms around his waist.

“I’ll call you tomorrow to check in. And May is probably going to send me over with a casserole. You’re going to get a lot of casseroles.”

“They won’t once the court paints him as a supervillain. Friends disappear around them.”

He nodded, “Some will, yeah, but not the people who care about you.”

“Maybe,” she said, “we’ll see. We’ll talk tomorrow?”

“I’ll call you after twelve, I’m not going to wake you up, but if you wake up and I haven’t called you yet, you can call me if you want. I’m going to call so don’t doubt that but if you want to jump the gun, you should.”

She hugged him again. “I’m going to go back to the real world now,” she said and reached for the front door.

“Goodnight, Liz. Thank you for going to homecoming with me.”

“Thank you for asking,” she replied. 

As he got back into the car Tony said, “You suave bastard, where did you learn the dancing on the walkway move?”

“It wasn’t a move. She said she wished we were still at the dance so I brought the dance to her.”

“Suave, level one hundred. I can teach you nothing. You’re the master of this game.”

“I don’t think romance should be a game.”

“And then you say something adorable and naïve.” Tony pulled away from the curb. “So you went on a date with Adrian Toomes’ daughter.”

“Tony, you have no idea. He opened the door and there he was, being ‘Mr. Allan’. It was terrifying. He even drove us to the dance.”

“Jesus.”

“And I had to pretend I didn’t know who he was and pray that he didn’t know who I was because he’s friends with Ock, Electro, Mysterio and Scorpion: they all want me dead. I don’t think he had any idea I’m me. Poor Liz, Tony, she had no idea. She keeps saying they’re wrong and I just kept saying that the courts haven’t told us anything so we have no idea what he’s even being charged with and that The Bugle is a rag but it’s really hard because I know she’s wrong.”

“How was the part of the night where you weren’t with Vulture or trying to comfort his daughter? I saw on Instagram that she liked her corsage and the Vine of you two dancing. That looked really fun.”

Peter sighed, “We don’t have to talk about this. I know you aren’t really interested in high school dances. Did you take a peek at my simulation results? Does it look good?”

“Pete, it’s true that I couldn’t care less about high school dances if I were being paid to do so. I do however really care about your night. I’m very interested in your night. So, was it fun? How many girls cried in the bathroom? Who won king? Who spiked the punch?”

“Which time? It got spiked so many times. Sometimes it was vodka, or whiskey, once it was gin. The look on Liz’s friend Seymour’s face was hilarious: he doesn’t like gin. The teachers kept trying to replace it but… it was fun. Liz is so, so nice. Ned didn’t have a date and Liz asked if he could dance. He’s got the aura of someone who likes Fred Astaire, y’know? And when he confirmed that, yes, he can do the waltz, she set him up with her dateless friend who takes dance classes. She got him a date and acted like he was doing her a favor: she’s awesome. Ned and Madison were doing full-on real dances all night with, like, footwork. And, like, I was worried about hanging out with her friends because they’re cool and seniors. But they were all like, ‘Oh, hey, Peter, I like your YouTube videos. You can sit with us.’ And we danced all night and they were all including me and Ned. And Liz kept pointing out her corsage to people. No one else had one. I totally thought other people would have one. And then we went to the diner and it could have been perfect, y’know? What the heck happened tonight?”

“The video is all over the internet.”

“I was a little bit too busy keeping his daughter calm to watch it.”

“He’s been selling weapons built off of Chitauri tech. Nova set up a bust with the feds. But it didn’t go right and the bad guys got away with all the loot but not the money. Then, tonight, I had an autonomous plane flying the old Avengers weapons up to the facility. I built them beautiful weapons and I don’t want their shit in my house. As we’re gutting the living floors and adding in more labs, I wanted their shit out of there. I thought about scrapping it but I put so work in: I threw out their clothes and donated their personal shit to museums. So I was shipping weapons. And Vulture tried to steal it and he and Nova ended up having a full-on brawl at Coney Island.”

“Sucks,” said Peter.

“A big criminal is off the street,” said Tony.

“But why did it hafta be tonight?”

“If I had known his plan, I would have delayed the flight to not clash with homecoming, promise.”

“Thank you for coming and getting us; I really appreciate it.”

“Y’know, I thought the Avengers were my friends. I thought we would always bolster each other up. And now… I paid for everything, Pete, I paid for everything. Because they were my friends and I was a billionaire. But now I wonder, if I hadn’t been their landlord, if I hadn’t bought their groceries, if I hadn’t built their weapons… I live in a house with Vis and Rhodey, people who don’t give a shit who pays, Vis doesn’t even eat the groceries. These are people who live with me because we’re friends. They don’t have their own floors, they aren’t in penthouse apartments, we just share our house. The pipes creak, most haven’t been touch since the forties when Dad built it. The taps take a knack to turn off right. They don’t care because they aren’t with me for the accommodations. It’s better now… you don’t want my money; you want my time; you want to hang out and play together in the lab. My friend needed a ride. I footed the bill for years for a bunch of people who turned against me because Steve didn’t like a logical law. They all knew it hurt that he wouldn’t tell people about us; they know he lied to me for two years about my parents; they know I reacted poorly to that news because I felt the bottom call out of my world; they know he rammed the shield into my arc rector and left me there. They still went away with him. I thought they were my family. I don’t know if they still agree with him or if they simply aren’t willing to serve their UN sentences for colluding with him. But they picked their team. The very least I can do for a friend who invites me to dinner at his aunt’s house at least three times a month is give him a lift.”

“Tony, if I were older and Ned wasn’t in the picture, I’d be jealous that Rhodey is your best friend. As it is, I’m just really glad that you aren’t that guy in the great suits or the 2D superhero I saw on TV growing up. The mogul and Iron Man aren’t what define you. They aren’t the coolest part of you either. I like the guy covered in grease eating pizza and shouting that Fermi doesn’t know jack compared to Bruce Banner: I like you in your entirety but that guy is the most fun Tony Stark. That guy was the person I knew would rescue us tonight, not the billionaire or the superhero.”

“Thanks, Peter, text May, let her know I’m coming up for wine or coffee: whichever is easiest. I want a blow-by-blow of the night and you’re both owed a blow-by-blow of what happened with Toomes.”

“Okay, while May pours the wine, I’ll put on my PJs ‘cause I’m done with this suit.”

“But you look so debonair,” said Tony.

“Are you mocking me?”

“No, you really do look like a heartbreaker, Peter. I’m sorry tonight fell apart,” said Tony. 

“S’okay, I’m glad the Vulture is off the streets, he’s scary as all get out,” said Peter as they pulled into the underground parking lot of Peter’s building. His apartment had two spaces. One was now usually left empty. Peter unlocked the basement door for them and they walked up together. “It just sucks that he’s a good dad.”

“I know. You should bring her something nice tomorrow.”

Peter nodded, “I’m good at baking peanut butter cookies. I thought I would make her and her mom some.”

“I’m sure she’d like that,” said Tony and his face and tone weren’t jokey. He said, “I’m sorry your girlfriend has to go through this. No one wants to be disappointed by their parents.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” said Peter.

“She posted eight separate pictures of you two being adorable tonight and you’re planning on baking for her: she’s your girlfriend.”

“I have a girlfriend?” asked Peter.

“You have a girlfriend,” agreed Tony, “But don’t say that until she says it first.”

“Liz Allan is my girlfriend?”

“If, when you bring her cookies, you end up sitting on her bed, talking without her mom in the room, you are one billion percent her boyfriend.”

“Wow,” said Peter. They hit his floor and he unlocked the door calling, “May, Tony and I are here.”

“Honey,” she came to him, hugging him. She was in her PJs with a robe over the top. “I’m so sorry.”

“He opened the door and it was him. I’ve seen his face in superhero files that were like, ‘We know this guy's the Vulture but we can’t prove it.’ So, I was super freaked out because Liz’s dad was Adrian Toomes. But he was ‘Mr. Allan’ y’know, like just Liz’s kinda scary dad. But then we were at the dance and it was just like a teen movie. Just like She’s All That without the horrible bet, or the cool dance sequence or the near-rape experience. Like, Liz was saying she felt like a princess because of the corsage but then I felt like a princess because I’m this lame freshman dancing with the coolest senior in school. And I knew her dad was a bad guy, and I knew that she didn’t know, but it was fun for a night. And then it all got bad fast. Poor Liz.”

“So you knew he was the Vulture?” she asked. 

“From the moment he opened the door, I knew that no matter what he said, he wasn’t Mr. Allan. That was Toomes.”

“Honey,” she started but Peter cut her off. 

“Tony wants a beverage and I want PJs and a hot cocoa,” he said. 

“Okay, honey, you put on PJs, I’ll pour the wine and boil the kettle. I saw the great photos Mrs. Allan sent. You looked amazing.”

He smiled and said, “Tony can show you the ones on social media. I know Instagram isn’t your thing.” He went into his room and shut the door. Striping off his tie he texted Liz, “Just got home. Are you okay?”

The response was fast, “No, but Im with my mom. Talk to you tomorrow?”

He texted, “Yeah, goodnight.” 

“Night. Thank you for checking.”

“Anytime,” he texted back. He changed into his PJs and went back into the kitchen. 

“Honey, you look adorable in all of these pictures. You and Liz look like a celebrity couple.”

“You always pick the best pictures to go on social media, May, that’s us at our best moments,” said Peter.

“She looks like a porcelain doll in real-life,” said Tony.

“She’s always lovely, even in the mustard blazers they wear for the academic decathlon team,” said May. 

“I’m going to bring her peanut butter cookies tomorrow.”

“I’m sure she’ll appreciate a visit,” said May. “And your cookies are good.”

“So, Pete, blow-by-blow, please,” said Tony.

Peter told them all about the night, the dancing, Liz’s nice friends, the songs, eyeliner. Then he said, “How do you rob a plane?” 

Tony told them about what Toomes had done. And finished saying, “Happy thought everything was under control and I was with Rhodey at his physical therapy. Your stand-in is pretty great. He solved this while you were dancing, I was cheering for two steps without an exoskeleton and Happy was planning his weekend.”

“Rhodey took two steps without the exoskeleton?” asked Peter with excitement. 

“Yeah, the doctors aren’t hoping to make him walk again, they’re hoping to help him use bathrooms more easily, get onto roller coasters, not fall if something goes wrong with the exoskeletons. I want Dr. Strange to take a look. I know he’s a Master of the Mystic Arts now, but once he was one of the best damn neuro-surgeons on the East Coast. I want his advice on Rhodey’s nerves.”

“So ask,” said Peter.

“I don’t even know where to find him,” said Tony.

“One seventy-seven A Bleeker Street,” said Peter. “It’s nice, he had me in for tea after we took Mysterio down together.”

“You’ve had a tea party with him?”

“Well, I had a Coke; he had tea. It’s a really nice building. My mask stayed on the whole time.”

“Do you know everyone in this city?”

Peter shrugged, “You were up there in your beautiful tower; I was down here in the muck. You were fighting world-threatening supervillains; we stopped the blood from running in New York’s streets. I’ve never met any gods, but I know most of New York’s coolest people. Stephen is nice, please don’t be a jerk to him after I gave you his address, he always knows stuff like that and I don’t want you to reflect poorly on me.” 

“Are you seriously telling me not to make you look bad?”

“You have an interesting sense of humor, Tony. I like it; I think you’re funny. But if you start calling him your facial hair bro, he’s not going to like you. And he might help Rhodey but he won’t help you out in the future without a big emergency.”

“Now I really want to call him my facial hair bro.”

“Wouldn’t it be awesome if Stephen could help Rhodey walk again?”

“Goody-two-shoes.”

“Yes,” agreed Peter, taking a sip of his hot chocolate.

**Author's Note:**

> I know that Peter is straight up smooth with his handling of the Vulture but Peter Parker is canonically really smart and he knows he’s not in immediate danger there so I think he could compartmentalize it and bluff his way through. And I think he could be smooth with Liz too, he’s a genuinely amazing guy who ends up with an actress.
> 
> I have never heard of a girl getting a corsage for homecoming. That's a prom thing. At most homecoming is a semi-formal dance.
> 
> Please comment or leave kudos if you liked it. I hope you did!


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